I didn't think the chiropractor would improve my posture.The Middle Ages were called the Dark Ages because there were too many knights.A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
The guy who invented the door knocker got a no-bell prize.No matter how hard you push the envelope, it's still stationery.A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.What washes up on tiny beaches? Microwaves.There was the person who sent ten puns to friends with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.A mean crook going down stairs is a condescending con, descending.The best time to open a gift is the present.When the past, present, and future go camping, they always argue.If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda.I renamed my iPod "The Titanic", so when I plug it in, it says, "The Titanic is syncing.".If you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughing stock.I told my suitcase that there will be no vacation this year.The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.We are what we repeatedly do excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it. Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. Nothing haunts us like the things we don't say. An artist says a hard thing in a simple way. An intellectual says a simple thing in a hard way. The quickest way to get someone's attention is to no longer want it. See Words Aptly Spoken and The Paradox of Our Time.ġ9. The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints we spend more, but have less we buy more, but enjoy it less. What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.ġ8. How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it.ġ7. Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There's no menu - you get what you deserve.ġ6. There was a kidnapping at school yesterday. Why do we have noses that run and feet that smell?ġ4. What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? A tire.ĭon't strive to make your presence noticed, just make your absence felt. In feudalism, it's your Count that votes.ġ1. In a democracy, it's your vote that counts. I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought: "That's the last thing I need!"ġ0. Those who confuse Burro and Burrow, don't known their ass from a hole in the ground.A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.Ħ. If you learn German only when sleeping, you will speak German only when dreaming.Published by Trieu Duong HUYNH, Feb 21, 2018. Learn German While You Sleep 😀 130 Basic German Words and Phrases 🍻 English German.In German, however, all nouns are capitalized. German translation: Kind = Child, Kinder (Plural of Kind) = Children. It doesn't matter how kind you are, German children are always kinder. What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father in law.Ĥ. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.ģ. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. "A Pun is a joke or type of wordplay in which similar senses or sounds of two words or phrases, or different senses of the same word, are deliberately confused To tell a pun, to make a play on words."Ībove definitions from: - Funny Emails.Ĭheck out extra essay reviews and open a new wordplay in a paper related to your intention.ġ. Such ambiguity may arise from the intentional misuse of homophonical, homographical, homonymic, polysemic, metonymic, or metaphorical language." "A pun, or paronomasia, is a form of word play that deliberately exploits an ambiguity between similar-sounding words for humorous or rhetorical effect. Quotations, Humorous Use of the English Language,Īnd Strange Facts More Pun and Funny English in Part 2 What Is a Pun? Pun and Funny English Funny Puns, Play on Words, Wise Sayings, Proverbs,
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